Wow. I am not okay. Maybe I was just in denial and for some reason, after writing some music last night it made me realize just how not good I am. I'm usually such a bubbly person, always smiling and trying to make people laugh and look at the brighter things in life. I just don't think that I can come out of my own blind ambition to see the good things in life. I realize that I did this to myself, now I'm wondering how to end it. I guess it's more of a feeling dread for my future.