I'm lost

I'm lost.

I feel lost.

I feel like there's a lot of myself that I don't really know. I've forced myself to do so many things that I don't want to do because my life has been so fucked up for the past few years.

I didn't want to get married. I forced myself to marry someone that I loved out of an ultimatum. Did I love Josh? Yes. But did I want to be married? No. I rejected him the first time that he asked me and the next day, he broke up with me. It was heart breaking. I never felt that before. That because I said no that I would basically lose everything that I had loved. So I figured that I had to appeal to the feelings and emotions of him in order to keep him in my life. By doing things that I really did not want to do.

Switching Hosts.

Hey guys, i'm thinking about switching hosts again. I just feel like this one isn't giving me what I really want. I want to become a graphic designer and it includes web designing too. I feel like if I want to accomplish something like that, then I need to broaden my blog to more capabilities and not limit myself to working around themes. I want to make my own layouts and themes and not just the logos. Blogger has been such a great help to me in blogging and getting my writing out there and what not but I need a different outlet to express my creativity.

I don't think I will be switching so soon but hopefully I will be able to find a place that will host me and my blog. I also want to add more things to it as well. A recipe place. The Day Zero Project and some other things as well. I feel like blogger is too limited for me to put everything I want down.

I don't know. Maybe i'm just getting too ahead of myself?

What do you guys think?

I write like....

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

30 Day Blog Challenge!

Hey guys! So I decided that I was going to go ahead and do the 30 Day Blog Challenge. No, i'm not on a Blog Block but I thought that it would be a great way to start of the New Year by blogging every single day some generic things about myself and go head and progress from there! I got the inspiration from Ashley at The Usual Shenanigans. It seems like a great idea so I'm going to try it out. =].


Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of our favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of youself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days