Friday, February 4, 2011

Fridays Advice Column: Should couples get married after admitting to cheating?

My husbands cousin posted this question as her Facebook status. To which I responded:

As long as both of you want to work on it and want to keep going with your relationship then yes. You never know if they are gonna do it or not. Whoever will tell you what they want to say to keep you happy, but you need to be able want to ...take the risk! You never know until it happens, or doesn't! And hopefully it doesn't! You should most definitely put things aside and talk about it beforehand. It's a very delicate subject and it goes beyond just loving each other. You don't want to waste your time with someone who isn't going make you happy and you shouldn't go into a marriage with a cloud over your head, it's not fair to either of you. You have to blindly go into it knowing that you are gonna try your hardest to work through it.

I agree with myself... I also added:

I say Forgive but DON'T forget. You shouldn't forget mistakes that has happened. But it also shouldn't give you the right to throw it in their face. That's how you push people away. It's still there but if they get married then they moved p...ast it but you don't ever bring it up again. That's what helps you gain trust back, and that how your partner knows that you are in it for the long run and are trying to trust them more by not bringing up their mistakes. It's just one huge mind-fuck but you have to be in it to win it, there's nothing you can't work through!

What do you guys think? Marriage is a very touchy subject. My marriage definitely has had it's up and downs but we work through it. If not marriage, what about a relationship? Do you think that people should stay together after admitting to cheating?

5 comments

  1. Good question. I think that I could forgive and marry my boyfriend if ever cheated on me. We'd get right on that after his bones healed. ;)

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  2. Bravo to your answer... I love how you said if she's ready to take a risk.. I believe that there are just relationships that are going through test.. It's hard to gain trust anymore.. but now I believe that it can gain nothingless. Time heals.

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  3. I have a little something for you Adrian.. check my blog!

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  4. I am a prodigy because that's what I always thought of myself as when I was younger. A virtuoso.

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