Something flavorful...

Gah.

There been so much going on since I last blogged on here. My mother came. Josh started a new job. We are looking for another place to live.

I feel like I'm breaking y'all. Draining is more like it. I can't get my head focused on one thing at a time. I don't have the motivation to work out, I don't have the motivation to blog, I don't have the motivation to clean... I feel like I'm just a sad who is going into depression.

My husband makes me happy, yes. But I feel lost inside... I don't know what I'm doing with my life and I don't know how to make it any better. I'm doing what I want to do but I'm not living the way I want to live... I don't even feel like I'm progressing that much.

I feel like I'm in a deep bind that I just cannot get out of... how much longer so I have to suffer?

Why do we want things more and more and desire the most fruitful things?

I want to move. I don't like staying here, but I don't wanna move so quickly. People think that because you just start with an opportunity that you can just move on from it once you have it. Can we not just take some time to bask in the happiness that we achieved? Can we not try to be happy for what we have? Why move on to things that we know we are not ready for? I don't want to fall from grace. Ignorance maybe bliss but I am well aware of the consequences and that time, effort and money that we are going to be putting ourselves into.

My mind is stressed out and I want to live happily... not keep going on wishful thinking. There's only so much wishful thinking people can do before reality comes crashing down and shows you what life is really about... the hard times and the never ending fight to become what you want to me. I'm not ready to move on to better things just to get knocked back down.

Tell me what to do guys.

The Vast Fields of Ordinary

By Nick Burns and ultimately turned into one of my favorite books. It was so touching yet eerie at the same time. I loved it. Exciting yet thrilling as well. I couldn't put it down. Kind of depressing and heart breaking the ending was and the book just left me thinking. Nick is soo vivid in his writing that it sent chills down my spine. Literally.

The book is about a boy named Dade Hamilton who leads a pretty normal suburban teen angst life. He has a sorta kinda boyfriend who hardly acknowledges his existence but is kinda obsessed with him but also has a girlfriend. Super complicated. Its a really good coming-of-age/coming out story with scary twists and turns that is new but relevant in teenagers lives these days. He meets all kinds of people that are all the wrong crowds especially a boy named Alex. Which is such a touching part of the story and I couldn't help but love Alex. There is also news reports of a missing girl Jenny which was so terrifying, I felt like I saw her for myself.

The Vast Fields of Ordinary is an inspiring novel about romance, life, mystery and death. I finished the book wanting more and there's definitely something in the book that I want to keep with me. I'm thinking about buying the book myself since I checked it out form the library. I always want to buy stuff that I really like.

It even inspired me to write a book myself. A coming of age tale maybe. I'm not much of a writer but I'm always looking for more gateways to express my creativity.

I give the book 5 out of 5 stars. I highly recommend it.
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