All up in my feelings

feelings.
Are feelings bad?
Am I out of touch?

Out of touch...
             with myself
             with my feelings
             with reality
             with everything that make's me, me.

What do I do?
How do I get out of this?
Where did this feeling or thought come from?
Why is it affecting me so much?
Did I bring this upon myself?

I just feel like there is something missing from my life.

My birthday is coming up soon.

I'm turning 27 this year with nothing to show for it.

I know I have a lot of stuff going for me like I registered for school to be a web designer. I have two very fullfilling job that pays well. The Doctors pay pretty decently but I just hate for working for someone. Once, someone told me, "you can never fullfill your dream by working for someone elses."

This will also be my friend birthday being since and I think I'm sad about it. I am happy that I am single but I wish that there was someone out there like my ex David that could help me cuddle with me and tell me that everything will be okay.

My 22 Bday!!!

My beautiful brand new red guitar! Thank you baby! Your the best! Its exactly what I wanted!!!

Monday Weekend Recap: Jeremiah's and Jessica's Birthday

Hey guys! Sorry that I didn't update this on Monday. I should have but I was extremely busy. First of all, Friday was a blur. My husband worked on Friday and after he got out of work I picked him up and picked up some resume's and applications so I could apply and turn them in at the City of Hurst. So that was exciting. Then we went to Grand Buffet for Joshs sister Jessica's 21st birthday! The food was pretty alright. It was pretty exciting.

The next day our roommate brought her child to us and we took her to my cousin's son Jeremiah's 3rd bday. That was A LOT of fun! We had shish-ka-bobs, sausages, burgers and pasta salad! It was all really yummy. The only thing that sucked was all the wind that went crazy when we were putting up the decorations. We had a good time, playing with the kids and eating. As always, we took thousands and thousands of pictures. It was so much fun seeing all the little kids playing. I missed my cousins and stuff so it was a good thing to see them again. The best thing about that day I think was when Alexcia was literally chasing her shadow all around the park! It was so funny!

They played at the park which was so huge and fun! There were swings and see-saw's and a huge wooden complex that was really cool too. We played with the kids and watched them slide down the slides and the joy of seeing them was just a very good feeling.

My cousin pulled out a blanket thing we laid down and talked and watched the kids run around. They played pin the horn on the dinosaur because Jeremiah LOVES dinosaurs and they were just so happy!

After that, we just went home and Maria picked up her child and we went back to my cousins house just to talk a little and then went back home.

Sunday we took my cousin to the church that we like in Arlington. I love that church, it's so fun and everyone is so welcoming and filipino but there was way more people there than when we went last time. It was crazy. It was kinda awkward because that day they were talking about Missions and Missionaries and Evangelism and we don't really like that. We like coming to church to hear about the word of God but we don't like to preach it ourselves or talk to others about it. Sure, I can say, I'm a believer but I don't want to be labelled a Catholic, Pentecostal or anything like that. I am a Christian, I do believe in God but in a general sense.

I'll get into it more later in a different post.

After that, we went home and ate a little and then we went to the Fort Worth Nature and went hiking for a little bit, just to check out the animals and get a little exercising done whilst enjoying the nice spring heat. =]. And that was my weekend!

My weekend! My cousins birthday!

So this weekend was my cousins birthday party! It was so exciting! We went to Spencers Corner. We had some problems trying to get in but it's all good! LOL. So we started out the day at the library and looking at books and apartments which is exciting as well. Then we went to the mall to meet up with my cousins and get her an outfit for that night. We ended up staying for an hour because it was pretty hard to find one.

Afterwards, we left to go and get her a bday present, along with a bag and some balloons because I like to go ALL OUT for people's birthdays. =]. So that when it comes down to my birthday, I want people to go all out for me! LOL. It was really cute. Sorry I don't have a picture of it.

Well we had a lot of fun dancing the night away. Drinks were only $1.50. I sweated off like seriously 20 lbs because I was getting down! I loveD! They had a really good band there that night as well. It was a cover band and they did really well.

I liked it there a lot because you could sit down on the couches after you were done dancing and not just sitting at a table or anything. It was pretty chill. I wish they played more music because most of the music there was pretty bomb diggity. Afterwards we went to Rick's Cabaret and saw some strippers... it was awkward for me. We only stayed for a little bit because we wanted to eat and they have free breakfast but we ended up leaving early because the birthday girl was super drunk and wanted to go home! Overall, it was a fun night!!!

Here is a video of me dancing, lol.

Day 17 - A photo of me and my family!

This is a picture of me and my cousins for my cousins bday! Some person told us that we look like the new and improved Kardashians lol! How sweet of them! We had so much fun this night. We started drinking like at 7pm and we were so drunk by 9pm. I bought this vodka that my friend just came out with called Zev Vodka and a huge bottle of Amaretto because I couldn't find a bottle of Frangelico. We had birthday cake shots and they were so yummy! I made like 5 shots of those, a cup of Amaretto sour, and two cups of Malibu Pineapple with Cranberry! It was super yummy. We took lots and lots of pictures that you guys can see on my facebook! http://www.facebook.com/adrianbalansay

Then we headed over to Vice around 11pm and there was no one there! So our drunk asses got on the dance floor and started dancing! We got the party started! We just had a lot of fun. I don't remember most of what happened except for the fact that I got really drunk and was throwing up all inside their buckets were they put the ice and bottles in and by the time I was done, it was filled up. I'm so surprised no one talked to me or even kicked me out. It was crazy.

Then my cousin peed in the elevator.

My husband passed out and threw up all over my other cousins car.

I passed out at the strip club and some stripper came up to me telling me that I need to wake up and asked me if I didn't like what I saw... and my cousin yelled at her and told her that I was gay and she left.

Then I stole some of the strippers money.

I felt bad.

Then there was breakfast that was free and it was really good.

But it was weird because there was so many naked girls getting food.... awkward!